Monday, April 4, 2011

The Date Night Deficit

Like most couples, my husband and I have crazy, hectic schedules.  He works around the clock; I hold down the fort.  We have two young boys, two big dogs, a calendar full of commitments, and little left over for US.  After months of feeling a disconnect in our marriage, often leading to irritation, bitterness, and resentment, our friendship slowly began to fade.

It was me who lashed out first, "You don't love me anymore!"  He responded with the same, "No, you don't love ME anymore!"  We weren't connecting.  We rarely went out like we used to.  We didn't laugh like before.  We were too busy with our responsibilities.  WE were starting to disappear.  

To get to the bottom of this problem, we went before our marriage counselor.  I complained he didn't give me enough attention, he rebutted I was unresponsive.  We went around in circles trying to explain that there was a hole in our marriage and love was leaking out the bottom.  Then we stared back at her hoping for a solution. "It's not that you don't love one another anymore," she answered, "It's that you need to find time to spend alone with each other." And then our marriage counselor prescribed "Date Night."

Simple put, we needed to make US a priority again.  Amid all the hustle and bustle, it was essential to assign a time every week to reconnect.  Just because we were married didn't mean that we should stop dating each other.  So we pulled out our calendar, reprioritized our current commitments, and carved out one night a week for us to go out.  We had to do the same with our budget.  We looked at our finances, reprioritized our spending, and set aside a date night fund.  It took sacrifice on both our parts, however, what was in store for us would be more than worth it.

But after all that, we would get to date night and not have a clue as to what to do with each other.  Dinner and a movie...again?  Or, really, can we talk about something besides work and the kids?  I once even brought up the happenings of a tv show cause I didn't know what else to talk about.  We stared back at each other desperately wanting that spark and some adventure.  But how?

We just needed the tools to get there...and that is why this blog was created: to share advice, date night ideas, & our adventures and conclusions.  After figuring out what to do with each other, our relationship has been stronger than ever.  I don't question our love any longer!

Through this blog, I hope I can inspire you and your hubby to have a remarkable date life too!


  1. Seriously Tiff, I was just thinking earlier today how Corey and my date nights needed a little help. I was looking for some form of inspiration and then you sent me this. I could say that's crazy!!! but I know it's God. You have already blessed me today my friend and I can't wait to put your advice into action. I'll let you know how it goes:)

  2. Ok girl, I'm tearing up as I read this. Apparently I'm connecting with your journey. I can't wait to read on. I'm already inspired. Thanks so much for sharing this with the world... especially my world. =)